I’ve been traveling quite a bit lately, both for work and pleasure. One thing I can’t help but notice is how many people seem to resort to an almost childlike state. They bang on their tray tables and kick the seat in front of them. They whine and bicker. They show up looking like they just rolled out of bed. They ignore the rules. Few people see flying as a particularly fun experience, but this breakdown in etiquette just makes it all the more unpleasant.

As such, I’ve listed a few basic guidelines for being on your best behavior while traveling. Let’s help put the “friendly” back in the friendly skies!

Be polite to flight attendants and airport staff. Think your job is tough? Imagine dealing with hundreds of irate passengers on a cancelled flight. I have experienced flight issues that have really tried my patience, but I find it’s far more effective to be firm yet polite and respectful (not raising my voice, maintaining eye contact, etc.) rather than flippant or belligerent in these cases. It’s also nice to greet the flight attendants warmly when you board the plane, thank them when you disembark, and be pleasant when they serve you. Acknowledge them with a smile or “thank you,” and the journey will be much more enjoyable.

Respect your fellow passengers. Here are some of my top pet peeves: hogging seats in the airport lounge with bags or coats; kicking my seat; blocking the aisle for an unreasonable amount of time (move into the row and let others pass); moving my luggage without asking permission; reclining your seat just as I’ve lowered my tray table; getting up to use the bathroom during dinner service (if I’m in the aisle seat, where am I supposed to put my tray of food?); hogging the arm rest or leg space; spending a long time in the bathroom, especially when there is a line of people waiting; and going barefoot and putting your feet on my seat or the arm rest.

Follow the rules.  We all know the drill by now. Yet I still see people trying to sneak liquids, laptops, and metal items through airport security, then arguing with guards and holding up everyone else. On board, people still try to get away with having their seats reclined during the descent, or chatting on their cell phones while in the air. Even if you think the rule is arbitrary, it’s best to just comply and let the staff members do their job.

Make sure your luggage is your own. Are you sure that black Samsonite is really yours? Always check the luggage tag, and have a unique marker to make it stand out. And even if you think that your luggage is unusual, and nobody else could possibly have the same make, double-check. I know a family who was traveling with small children. They got off a long flight and waited for their bags with their fellow passengers. The children were restless, and soon everyone else had left. One bag was left on the carousel, and though it was a dead ringer for their “unique” brown luggage, the tag had another passenger’s name on it. It suddenly dawned on them that the woman who owned this abandoned bag must have taken their bag. They had to call the number on the tag, have a relative call the woman’s cell, and wait for her to turn around and return to the airport to switch the bags. Needless to say, it was a frustrating end to a very long day, and could have easily been avoided if the woman had just checked her tag.

Resist the slob impulse. Riding in an airplane just isn’t comfortable, even if you’re in first class. Many of us try to compensate by wearing comfortable clothes, but I have to draw the line at denim cut-offs,  t-shirts with obscene or distasteful slogans, and ratty sweats that look like they were rescued from the bottom of the laundry pile, especially if you’re traveling for business. It’s possible to be just as comfortable (and presentable!) in nice jersey sportswear or linen slacks paired with a cotton tee and a scarf. And don’t overlook your grooming. A full face of makeup isn’t necessary, but your hair should at least be brushed and you should be showered and wearing deodorant. Investing five extra minutes can make a huge difference in how you present yourself to the world. I’ve even known people who got upgraded seats because they were dressed nicely.

Travel can be stressful, but being self-aware and keeping your etiquette in check will help everything go more smoothly.

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

It seems like just about everyone owns an iPod or iPhone these days. I’ve gotten used to seeing earbud-wearing strangers tuning out at the coffee shop, bank, and grocery store. I once asked a man for directions and, wondering why he hadn’t turned to acknowledge my question, realized that he was listening to music. It’s irritating and impersonal, but it’s also a part of modern life.

However, that doesn’t mean we can let our manners slip at the workplace. Once upon a time, companies had piped-in music softly humming in the background, or radios tuned to the station most popular with employees. Now it’s becoming increasingly common for workers to supply their own iPod-provided tunes. I can see certain benefits to this practice—many people find that music helps them find a working rhythm, and by listening to their own music it eliminates any debate about whose turn it is to switch the station.

On the other hand, the casual practice can sometimes result in a relaxed attitude about workplace etiquette. Several of my corporate clients have shared with me their complaints about employees abusing their iPod privileges. I’m passing them along to make sure you avoid making the same mistakes!

Singing along to the music. Save it for the shower. Even if you think you have the voice of, say, Adele, your coworkers will be distracted by the noise. Humming, thumping your hands on your desk to keep the beat, and crooning off-key are also big no-nos.

Playing music too loudly. Keep the volume low enough so that it doesn’t reach others’ ears. You can ask your nearest coworker if they can hear your music. If they say yes, turn it down.

Shouting “what?” when someone asks you a question. If your colleagues’ voices are completely tuned out, your music is too loud. Remember, you’re there to work, not to jam out.Not answering the phone because you have earbuds in. If your phone rings, it’s your responsibility to pick it up. You can always play the song back when you’re finished with the call.

Not taking earbuds out when you engage in a conversation, even if you have turned off the device. This is a particular pet peeve of mine. Wearing headphones or earbuds sends a message to others that you are tuned out. Even if you are listening to your colleagues, show them respect by removing the earbuds. 

Breaking an iPod ban. Many companies don’t allow iPods or music players at all. Of course, there are always employees out there who think that they won’t get caught with a tiny little iPod or carefully concealed earbud. Wrong. Just respect the policy, and save the music for your breaks and commute.

Ultimately, having an iPod at work is a privilege, and it must be treated with good manners and respect. Be a good example and show that listening to your own music doesn’t interfere with your job performance.

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

A few days ago I was flying from Orlando, Florida to Columbia, South Carolina. When I got to Charlotte, North Carolina to get my connecting flight home, we were told the flight was cancelled. It was 10:45pm. At first the airlines said they would provide ground transportation and we should stand by for further information. After waiting for 30 minutes, the airlines informed us that we would have to spend the night and then take the next available flight out in the morning. I was not about to spend the night in one of those sleazy hotels the airlines put you up in when they cancel your flight. I have done that before and it is not a pleasant experience.

Everyone was trying to decide what to do. I turned to two complete strangers, John and Mary Lou Galloway, and suggested that we rent a car together and drive. I had never met them before and hoped they wouldn’t leave me in a ditch somewhere, but I didn’t see any other option. When I went up to the desk to ask about retrieving my luggage, an older gentleman, Bob Foster, overhead me tell the gate agent that we were renting a car and asked, “Can I ride too?”

Here we were, four strangers thrown together. Of course, the others got their luggage right away and mine didn’t show up. I was starting to feel embarrassed since everyone was anxious to get on the road. It was now 11:30pm and we still had a 90-minute drive to Columbia.

Finally, we were on our way. And believe it or not, we had such a wonderful time together! We discovered we each had things in common. John’s grandfather went to RPI, where my husband works. Bob had been a lawyer, while Mary Lou worked for a law firm. We just talked and talked the whole drive home.

John and Mary Lou decided they would drop me and Bob off at our homes, which meant they were going out of their way. Their ride home was getting longer and longer for them. They could have dropped us off at the airport and we would have gotten a ride from family members. Yet they insisted that since it was so late they would drive us to our front door. What a kind gesture on their part!

I so appreciated John and Mary Lou for including me in that drive home that night. I had a wonderful time getting to know them as well as Bob Foster. I am thankful they were willing to give two complete strangers a ride. I may never see these people again but will remember the kindness of strangers that was extended to me and how they touched my life that night.

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

A few weeks ago I posted an article on my website. A competitor in my industry posted a comment that said, “I discuss this topic in my book that is coming out. Here is the link.” I was shocked! How would she like it if I went to her site and promoted MY book? I felt that instead of adding to the discussion, she was using my article as an excuse to advertise her services.

As business owners, there might be times when you want to comment on blogs run by other consultants in the industry. It is a great way to start an online conversation, connect with others who are in the same field, or offer an opinion. Plus, any comments you make on other blogs link back to your own site, which can be useful for search engine optimization purposes.

But if you choose to comment on other people’s blogs, there are some rules you should follow. Here are some tips from my social media consultant Evan at Intellisites Web Design. 

Refer to something that was mentioned in the article. The best comments are those that mention specific points. Of course I’m happy to see “Great article!” but I really love comments in which the reader references a particular argument I made, or asks a question in more detail. This continues the dialogue and helps me see what people are responding to!

Make comments that are relevant. I never approve comments that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. In fact, it makes me wonder if the person even read the article if they start going off on a tangent. If the article is about, say, phone etiquette, don’t start complaining about politics. If you don’t have anything to add, but want to be supportive, you can simply “like” the post or retweet it.

Be nice. If you don’t agree with a colleague’s opinion, or had a different experience, find a tactful and diplomatic way to express it. Don’t be argumentative or push your viewpoint on others. When we’re online we tend to take comfort in anonymity and may be harsher on others because we think we can get away with it. Instead of saying “You’re wrong and here’s why,” try “Interesting article. Another approach would be to do this.”

Don’t make your comment an advertisement for your business. You want to be viewed as a business professional, not a spammer. Avoid including links within your comments.

Follow the golden rule. Ultimately, it’s about respect and treating others how you would like to be treated. If you don’t want to see it on your blog, don’t post it on someone else’s. If you want people to share and retweet your articles, try sharing theirs! A little good online karma goes a long way.

Commenting in a constructive and respectful manner is a much more effective way to boost your professional profile than unleashing a war of words or desperately promoting yourself. Always think before you post!

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

My husband and I have recently become good friends with a couple whom we met through Joe’s golf outings. The four of us enjoy going out to dinner, but at first I struggled with one issue: fragrance.

The first time we all went out, the wife wore perfume. I noticed it right away as I am scent-sensitive—perfumes, colognes, and other products with a strong smell bother me. When we left to go to dinner, the men sat in the front of the car while the women were in the back seat. 

Sitting side by side, I was overwhelmed by the smell of her perfume! It’s not that it was an unpleasant smell—it was very pretty. Still, I am very sensitive to chemicals and it was uncomfortable, like being around a smoker if you don’t smoke. Even so, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to offend her. Plus, it was the first time we had met, and I didn’t want to make a bad first impression.

The second and third time we went out to dinner, I was in the exact same position. I began to react to her perfume. My nose ran, I got a headache, and I had a chemical taste in my mouth. I needed to tell her of my predicament!

But how? When someone is told their fragrance is too strong, they tend to equate it with being told that they smell bad. This causes embarrassment and offense.

Alternatively, people may see scent sensitivity as the sufferer’s problem. Why should they have to change their beauty routine to make life easier for someone with an allergy?

I think the best solution is to just bring it up in an informal way. For instance, you could compliment the person’s fragrance, or ask which brand they wear. When they respond, you can say, “It’s nice. I wish I could wear perfume, but I get an allergic reaction. Even my husband has to skip cologne!”

Notice that I used the phrase “allergic reaction” rather than “sensitive.” Many people suffer from allergies of one form or another, and phrasing it this way may make them more sympathetic. The word “sensitive” can sometimes convey a whiney tone, and people may not realize the physical ailments that you suffer as a result.

Naturally, people will be curious about the extent of your reaction, and if they are wearing scents that are too strong. I would say, “You’re fine, but if I have to keep my distance or my nose starts running, please don’t be offended!” Or you could suggest traveling in separate cars. Always be willing to make sacrifices on your part so that people don’t feel like you’re overdramatizing the situation or putting them out. And having an understanding with your spouse or close friends can also help. For instance, if you are feeling overwhelmed, your spouse can offer to sit closest to the person with the strong perfume, or suggest a quick stroll outside to get some fresh air.

With a little tact and the willingness to make some concessions, you can come clean about your sensitivity to fragrances. Don’t let your health suffer just because you’re worried about speaking up!

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

Recently a friend contacted me about a sticky situation: Her employer has decided to no longer cover alcohol on company expense reports. I suspect this drastic measure was implemented because employees were taking advantage of the situation by, say, ordering a $90 bottle of wine because they knew the company would cover it.

My friend expressed concern, as she was recently out with one of her clients and the client wanted to order a beer with her dinner. What should she do if this happened again under the new policy? My friend felt it would have been rude to tell the client the expense was no longer covered, but wondered if she should pay for the beer herself in order to keep the client happy.

None of us would be happy covering other people’s alcohol expenses for business meals, yet we would not want to offend our clients by refusing to let them put a glass of wine on our tab. So what’s the right way to handle a ban or limit on company alcohol expenses?

The simplest way to avoid the situation is to schedule meetings over breakfast or lunch. That way there is less of a chance that people will want to order a drink. If dinner is a must, opt for a restaurant that doesn’t have a separate bar or extensive martini list, which might prove too tempting. 

If a client does order a drink, it’s probably better to go ahead and let it slide. If they ask why you aren’t drinking, you can say that you have a lot of work to do later, or feel a cold coming on. You don’t want them to feel guilty about drinking, nor do you want them to feel like you are judging them. It will be easier to pay the check and (hopefully) convince your employer to cover the costs later on. And if you’re really worried, skip dessert or order a less expensive entrée to keep your food costs below budget.

You should also talk to your employer and ask what they recommend you do so as not to offend your company’s prospect or client. Let upper management decide how the situation should be handled. Will exceptions be made for major clients?

Some companies may implement a spending limit on alcohol rather than an outright ban, but even that can be tricky. Say your company will only allow you to expense $40 on alcohol per meal. Rather than announcing to the waiter that you can only order a bottle of wine that costs less than $40, take this approach: Open your wine menu and point to a bottle of wine in the appropriate price range. Say to the waiter, “We would like a wine comparable to this one. What can you recommend?” Your guests will assume you are pointing to a certain kind of wine and not the exact price. 

Another suggestion for staying within your corporate budget is for you to choose the wine. I once had a VP tell me he was entertaining one of his very best clients. This VP was from Ireland and turned to his guest and said, “I don’t really know American wines, so why don’t you pick the wine for dinner?” My client was shocked when the bill came and he discovered that his guest had ordered a $300 bottle of wine! It was a costly lesson to be learned. As the host, you need to be in control of those things.

It’s understandable for a company to want to trim costs by not expensing alcohol, but it’s up to your employers to determine how to handle that situation with clients smoothly. A glass of wine is not worth embarrassing or offending a client, in my opinion!

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

A few weeks ago I attended the Color the Arts Festival in downtown Columbia, SC, a fundraiser for the arts in the local communities. It was a lovely event held in an outdoor courtyard. Local artists could feature artwork for sale and there was a silent auction to raise money for the cause.

As my husband and I were mingling amongst the crowd, I spotted Hannah Horne, a reporter and anchor for WIS TV, NBC’s local affiliate. I watch Hannah and the morning team every day and I wanted to meet her in person. My husband and I went over to say hello and introduced ourselves, mentioning that we were new to South Carolina. She shook our hands and said, “Nice to meet you.” We chatted for a few minutes and another couple came along to join the group. They said hello to Hannah and introduced themselves. Then, to my surprise and delight, Hannah turned to this couple and said, “Have you met Joe and Juanita Ecker?” Wow, what a classy lady! Not only did she remember our names, she took the initiative to make the introductions.

Individuals who introduce others are viewed as people with good business savvy skills—“connectors,” if you will. In the business etiquette seminars that I teach, I always emphasize the proper way to introduce others. It seems like a simple gesture, yet people don’t do it as often as they should.

For instance, contrast that scenario with a situation that happened to me a few weeks ago. My husband was going on a golf outing with his buddies to Greenville, SC. It was a day trip where the men would leave early that morning and return before dinner. Since my husband and I had never been to Greenville, he asked me if I would like to meet him at the golf course in the afternoon. We would spend the night in Greenville, exploring the city and being tourists. It was a great idea.

I showed up at the golf course at the designated time and noticed that some of my husband’s buddies had finished the round and were loading their bags into their car. I went over, said hello to someone who had met me before, gave him a hug, and asked if Joe had finished yet. He replied, “His team is finishing up on the last hole.” But he made no effort to introduce me to the rest of the group. It was awkward, and I’m sure the other golfers were wondering who I was.

If you are chatting to someone and others join the group, make a mental note to introduce everyone. Not only does it make everyone feel included, it shows that you have good etiquette, confidence, and a wide circle of contacts—in other words, all the skills that a successful businessperson should have. All it takes is a simple, “Have you met Bill?” and perhaps a brief explanation of how you know the person. Or, you can invite the new people into your conversation by saying, “Meet my colleague Brian. We were just discussing our summer travel plans. How about you?”

If, for some reason, it slips your mind to make introductions, and your mutual acquaintances take it upon themselves to do it, offer a humble yet brief apology as well as a brief explanation, such as, “I’m so sorry. Shelly, this is Paul. We used to be neighbors. Paul, Shelly and I work together.”

Being good with introductions puts people at ease and shows that you have both finesse and leadership skills. And besides—who knows where these connections could lead?

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

Many people dream of working from home. It’s convenient, your time is more or less your own, and you can work in a space that’s more creative and intimate than a tiny cubicle. But in reality, it can be difficult to focus on your work and get into business mode when you are surrounded by family members, not to mention a million other distractions like a TV, the family pet, and neighbors who want to pop in for a chat.

If you’re going to ever get any work done and help your business grow, it’s vital that you set boundaries for your home office. The following tips will get you on the right track.

Make some room. It’s crucial that you have a dedicated work space where you handle all of your business matters. Your bedroom, kitchen, and living room should be reserved for your personal life. If, however, your home is too small for an office, at the very least have a dedicated desk in an area where you are unlikely to be distracted. Right by the TV is probably not a great idea! Setting up a phone line that is only used for business is also ideal.

Have a back-up. A home office isn’t necessarily the best place to hold a client meeting—it feels too informal. If you can’t go to the client’s place of business, look into renting an office suite for the day (some hotels and large office buildings offer this). Or, suggest a lunch meeting at a nice restaurant that is conveniently located to both of you. You should also find a nearby café or library where you can escape should the neighbors be doing noisy renovations, or if someone is mowing the lawn.

Establish a routine. Working from home gives you more freedom, but to be really productive you need to create some rules. Setting specific business hours, or giving yourself a mid-day break for lunch or a jog around the block can help you get into the swing of things.

Cut out distractions. Unless you are very disciplined, you should avoid temptations like TV, the radio, personal phone calls, and the Internet. Just because you don’t have a boss looking over your shoulder doesn’t mean you should waste time on Facebook or YouTube.

Get some support. If you live with a spouse and kids, it’s important that they support and respect your work time. Make it clear that when you are in your office you are not to be disturbed unless it is an emergency. Your office and work computer and phone should be off-limits to anyone but you.  And don’t be afraid to delegate tasks to a babysitter, dog-walker, or housekeeper if need be.

With the right amount of discipline and focus, working from home can be both productive and rewarding. Now that’s living the dream!

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.

I was just reading the April issue of Lake Murray Magazine and saw this headline on the cover: “Tie one on for the Cup–an ode to the bow tie, an essential accessory for the Carolina Cup gentleman.”

“Men who wish to project a different, daring or distinguished style choose to tie up their fashionable loose ends in a handsome bow tie,” the article read, explaining that men can elevate their look from “done to dapper” by wearing a bow tie.

It seems that in the South, a bow tie paired with a suit is quite fashionable for formal social occasions. But as I read the article, I wondered about how the bow tie is received in the business arena? Is it outdated? Inappropriate? Or merely a striking personal style statement?

I get asked this question all the time in my dress seminars. “Can I wear a bow tie at the office and still be viewed as credible,” men ask. Being from the Northeast, I used to say, “Absolutely not!” However, now that I am living in the South, my view has changed.

Now, I have two major considerations with regards to this look. The first is, where does the client live? The bow tie is much more accepted in the South. When I am out to dinner at nice restaurants in Columbia, South Carolina, I see lots of businessmen wearing bow ties. Up north, and, indeed, most of the country, a bow tie is a rarity and therefore more likely to be seen as unconventional.

The second consideration is the client’s corporate culture. If he works in a creative environment, such as an advertising firm, fashion house, or magazine, a bow tie may be accepted, or even viewed as trendy. A strait-laced law firm, however, is less likely to be bowled over. Observe how your higher-ups dress—you should generally follow their lead. Are there any signs of personal expression? I know some businessmen who wear colorful ties, or bold striped socks with their expensive power suits just to add a touch of personality. If that’s the case in your office, a bow tie might be acceptable.

If you choose to wear a bow tie, know that it will brand you as somewhat eccentric. Just look at “Mad Men,” for example. The two characters who wear bow ties are Bert Cooper (who also walks around without shoes), and Harry Crane—arguably the more unusual, less ambitious men in the office. Compared to the sleek, traditional power ties worn by Don Draper and Roger Sterling, they look very quirky and perhaps less powerful.

The lesson: You may have to work harder to prove to others that you are a committed professional!

©2011 Professional Image Management If you would like to use this article in your newsletter or blog, you may do so. Please include our credit information: Written by Juanita Ecker, Professional Image Management. © Copyright 2011. I would also appreciate it if you would send us a copy for our files.