Avoiding Negative Statements

By Juanita Ecker

When South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley took office in January, she announced that her top staffers would receive salaries higher than those holding the same positions during the previous Governor Mark Sanford’s term. She was immediately criticized by her opponents for this move. Yet the interesting thing is that she is actually saving the taxpayers money, spending $71,000 less than what was in the state-set budget. If she is saving the state money, why are people knocking her decision?

After reading this story, I keep asking myself why our culture is so quick to criticize. Why are people so eager to point out what is wrong? Why do we expect perfectionism from everyone when we can’t possibly achieve it ourselves? It feels like everyone—politicians, celebrities, even our co-workers—are under a microscope, with every decision being analyzed to death.

I challenge you in this blog to see if you can go one whole day without criticizing someone, pointing out what is wrong, or expressing a negative opinion. Are you willing to give it a try?  Here’s the kicker: If you catch yourself getting negative, you have to start fresh all over the next day!

Here are a few tips on avoiding common, crankiness-inducing situations:

You go to a restaurant and the wait seems to be endless. Rather than getting snippy with the hostess, check in with a smile on your face. Say, “I just wanted to see how our table was coming along. Do you have a time estimate?” If they say it will be a while yet, avoid the urge to angrily point out how long you’ve been waiting. Instead, counter with, “I see. Would it help if we moved to this section? Would you recommend getting some appetizers at the bar?” In other words, try to come up with a solution, not another complaint.

How to Handle Rejection Gracefully

By Juanita Ecker

“I won’t take no for an answer” may have a nice ring to it, but in reality most, if not all, of us have tasted the bitterness of rejection. What happens next, however, depends on you.

When we hear the word “no,” we tend to get defensive. We might feel hurt, slighted, or embarrassed. These are strong emotions that, when acted on, can spark dramatic confrontations which can make an uncomfortable situation worse and do irreparable damage to our careers.

Say that a client whom you’ve pitched has decided not to use your services. You could become bitter, make a nasty remark about not wanting their business anyway, and storm out. You could beg and plead and desperately pursue them like a jilted lover. Or, you could take a deep breath, thank them for their honesty and consideration, and move on. This is by far the best approach. If you like you can ask why they’ve made that decision, but do it in a non-confrontational way by saying, “Moving forward, how could I have handled this better for you?” Though you don’t want the conversation to linger, you should end things by encouraging them to be in touch should they require your services down the road. Alternatively, you could say, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out this time, but please keep us in mind in the future.”

Do You Look For What’s Wrong or What’s Right?

By Juanita Ecker

One of my favorite shows, “America’s Got Talent,” just ended its season. I have to say, I’ll miss it. I love how the three judges are very kind to the contestants, even if they don’t like the act. They always look for something good to say rather than pointing out all the things that are wrong. There’s so much negativity in the world, it’s nice to have a little positive thinking for a change!

If only the workplace were more like that. It seems like every time we’re presented with a new idea, we fire away with negative statements. We’ve become a corporate culture of naysayers, and the negativity can be toxic.

Of course, that’s not to suggest that we all become “yes men” who blindly agree to everything, even if we secretly have doubts. That’s not healthy either. Case in point: the recent economic meltdown, in which those who pointed out the risks of the mortgage loan process were fired.