By Juanita Ecker
A friend of mine has divorced parents who don’t speak to each other. Throw in in-laws, and holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas become very stressful. Either someone gets left out, or there has to be three different gatherings to accommodate everyone. It’s easy for the spirit of the season to get lost in the shuffle.
As we get older, our family life can become more complicated. Suddenly it’s not just Mom, Dad, and the kids. There are in-laws and other families to consider. There may be divorces, split custodies, and hurt feelings. Everyone wants a piece of the pie (literally and figuratively), but it’s hard to see how to please everyone, short of cloning yourself or flying in Dr. Phil.
So how can you survive the holidays with your sanity intact? These tips will help.
Compromise when you can. If you’re in a serious relationship, or have children who are married, you can’t expect that things will always be the same. Even if you’re not crazy about your in-laws, you have to accept that you will have to spend time with them during the holidays. Be fair, and don’t give people guilt trips.
Realize that you can’t please everyone all of the time. Sometimes when we try to please everybody, we wind up exhausting ourselves and satisfying no one. What’s the fun in rushing from family to family on Thanksgiving if you can’t actually spend quality time with anyone? Rather than trying to be in 5 places at once, prioritize your holidays with your partner. Perhaps you can spend Thanksgiving with his family, and Christmas Eve with yours, and Christmas with another group of relatives. (more…)
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