Learn to Say “No” Nicely

By Juanita Ecker

I conducted a dining etiquette session for a private university last year. They were very pleased with the program that I gave to the students, and the contact person told me he was definitely interested in having me back for 2010. When it came time to follow up with him, I sent an e-mail and never heard back. A few days went by and I left a voice message. He never responded. Another week went by and I left a third message. Still no response! Instead of e-mailing me back and telling me why they weren’t doing the program this year (budget cuts, etc.) or that they were using another vendor instead, the contact person did absolutely nothing. Simply ignoring my communications is not very polite and shows me that this person is not very respectful towards others.

I find this tactic very common. People assume if I just “ignore that person” who is contacting me, they will go away. Instead, if you want to be viewed as someone who is a polished professional, learn how to say “no” in a tactful and diplomatic way. Read on for some pointers.

Be honest if you need more time. If you are not ready to make a decision or do not immediately have an answer for someone, let them know that. It’s fine to say, “We are still reviewing our plans for this year” or “Can you follow up with us in a month?” That way the person knows you got their e-mail and have at least considered the pitch, and it is now up to them to follow up.

Don’t waste time. If the answer if a definite “no,” respond as soon as possible. Don’t leave a person hanging. This way they can move on to other opportunities.

Saying No So You Can Say Yes

By Juanita Ecker

A nonprofit organization once contacted me about doing a three-hour training session for their staff. Unfortunately, the company was an hour and a half drive away, and they only had a budget of $500. When I was first starting out, I would have taken the opportunity to earn some money, get a testimonial, and practice my material. But at this point in my career, I had to turn them down because I felt it wasn’t the best use of my time.

Another time, a man contacted me and wanted me to shop for clothes for his college-aged daughter. Because that is not really my target market, I chose to decline the project so that I could put my energy into projects that speak to me.

And then there was the time I was contacted about being a judge for a local beauty pageant for young teenagers. They weren’t able to pay me, but offered the opportunity for me to market my services to the parents. Once again, this is not my target market and I gracefully declined.

Do I regret turning these opportunities down? No. While they may have brought in a bit of money and some business, ultimately I realized that it was better to hold out and invest my time in projects that were more in line with my business goals.